i have NO idea what's up with me.
last night i had two weird ass dreams.
--the first one involved me dying on the Titanic and haunting it...underwater...and i kept fucking dying even though i was already dead. (wtf?)
--in the second one i beat the hell out of my sister in walmart. i guess i just needed to take out all of the anger i have towards her about her decision to leave her kids and husband behind. gosh.

and today...
i found out my great aunt ruby died.
i never met her, but it still disturbs me.
my cousin june called and didn't say that she had passed away or that she was deceased, oh fuck no...she just died. she's dead.
i told my mom and she burst into tears.
hearing about ruby's life i'm surprised she lived to be 90. her husband would bring other women home while she was there and you can figure out the rest. she became EXTREMELY depressed.
i really wish i had gotten to know her. my grandmother's older sister. if she was like my grandmother then she was quite a lady.

RIP Ruby.
you will be deeply missed